Friday, July 11, 2014

Vermont 100 - One Week Out

People have been asking whether I'm ready to run 100 miles . . . here's one answer, in stream of consciousness so as to reflect the thought process as accurately as possible:
I can do this . . . it's just a day . . . need more BodyGlide . . . what's that pain? . . . did I have it before? . . . my diet's been shit . . . I've gained weight . . . I feel great . . . I'm exhausted . . . why is my wife putting up with this? . . . why isn't my wife more supportive . . . wish I'd raised more money for these charities . . . who am I trying to impress? . . . sub-24 hours is in the bag . . . there's no way I can finish 100 miles . . . I LOVE running . . . Running is stupid; I'm going back to playing soccer . . . I need to pre-order those peanut butter protein balls . . . is my crew going to be okay? . . . why would anyone agree to crew me? . . . I love Vermont . . . look at these splits from 2013 . . . how does one wear a belt buckle?  . . .  Doesn't matter, I'm not getting one . . . Unless I'm injured or too sick to continue, I WILL FINISH . . . why does any of this matter? . . .   what do my kids think? . . . I can't wait to take a few weeks off from running . . . which shoes should I wear? . . . When should I change them? . . . Is THAT really the elevation profile . . . 15,000 feet? Are you SHITTING me? . . . Speaking of that, how many pairs of shorts should I bring, in case I shit myself? . . . Nip Guards, DO NOT FORGET THE NIP GUARDS . . . I need sleep . . . Wish I could sleep . . . I know so many people who've finished 100-milers . . . I can do this, too  . . . those people are far stronger than I am . . . When should I start eating carbs during the race? . . . Fig Newtons are yummy . . . I miss Oreos . . . Why does everything that tastes good eventually kill you? . . . Bug spray! . . . Troy's beard is dreamy . . . It is a nice beard, but what if I hallucinate that he has a 'possum on his face . . . Are there possum's in the woods of Vermont? . . . what about that time I chased the porcupine off the trail when I paced Kami . . . I know those last 30 miles . . . that'll help . . . Man, I've seem some carnage in those last 30 miles . . . 100 miles . . . that's far . . . But, really, it's just one day . . . less than 24 hours . . . unless it isn't . . . could be 30 hours . . . that would suck . . . can't worry about that now . . . I wish Nate was gonna be there . . . Nate's doing a 200-mile race . . . Nate's crazy; I'm wicked normal . . . is the World Cup really about to be over? . . . Suarez to Barcelona; how can that be? . . . I'll miss the kids . . . now way the kids . . .  Focus, you're about to run 100 miles . . . 100 miles . . . It's like 90 miles to drive to the race from my house . . . why did I agree to this? . . . pickle juice! gotta have pickle juice there . . . bacon; bring lots of bacon . . . hydration vest or handhelds . . . I haven't run enough trails . . . I haven't run enough hills . . . I haven't run enough . . . I got this . . . Can we just run already? . . . will the crew find the aid stations? . . . what if I miss them . . . what should my weigh-in strategy be? . . . will I get too dehydrated . . . HYPONATREMIA KILLS . . . I've never had that sort of problem . . . I've never run more than 50 miles . . . 50 miles wasn't that bad . . . of course, it was a cool day . . . and it was a flat course . . . but I'd just run Boston 6 days earlier . . . Not really, that was a long slow effort . . . This will be a long slow effort . . . True . . . Point me (or is that you?) . . . I can't wait to eat whatever I want during the race . . . Bring on the sugar and gluten . . . Mmmmmm, gluten . . . will they have peanut and plain M&Ms . . . I like them both . . . They're really giving us a poop bag? . . . Who the f--- crapped on someone's organic blueberry farm during last year's race . . . So many changes . . . I fear change . . . Change is life . . . Whatever, it's all new to me now . . . Will I be chatty during the race? . . . Will I make new friends? . . . Will my hair get in my face? . . . should I cut it? . . .  a dyed mohawk would be cool . . . I don't want to get divorced again . . . earrings? . . . should I get new ones?  . . . bigger? . . .  smaller? . . .  seriously, dude, enough with the bullshit details . . . stick to the important stuff . . . Will Meredith get enough sleep . . . Does she ever get enough sleep anymore? . . . I hope she enjoys this experience . . . It's cool of her to support me as I do this . . . What should I eat the night before? . . . what about breakfast? . . . 4:00 am is harsh . . . what time should I get up? . . . who's gonna drive me from Justin's house? . . . how do I do spreadsheet projections? . . . My poor crew . . . I gotta stay positive the whole time . . . I love trail running . . . I'm good at going slow . . . Not too slow, though . . . Whoa, slow down, cowboy . . . you're not going to set the course record . . . Today is not "the day" . . . No music? . . . that's stupid . . .  actually, it's cool . . . but, music would be awesome . . . maybe the crew can sing to me when I see them? . . . that's really stupid . . . I've met some awesome people through running . . . where the hell are they all? . . . Maybe I should have asked E.M. to crew for me? . . . He's blind, remember?! . . . Oh, right . . . well, I chose to do this, so I have to figure it out for myself . . . Weather looks nice . . . is that warm front going to move in a day early . . . good thing I've run in the heat lately . . . hot means shirtless, which means no nipple chafe . . . scrap the nip guards  . . . actually, bring them, just in case . . . bring everything . . . two of everything . . . no way I can do this if it's 90 . . . yeah, fret about the stuff you can control, like the weather . . . it's going to be so hard . . . it's going to be awesome . . . it's going to be both of those things and so much more . . . and, eventually, it's going to be over . . . and I'll have done it . . . and I'll know I can do just about anything else.
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The lesson here?  Don't ask whether I'm ready.  I'm as ready as I can be, which is not ready enough.  That's what big unknown new adventures do to you.  Bring it on.  Bring it all on!

1 comment:

Tom Menner said...

Ditto! This is gonna be great!